smiley derek is the best derek. i just wanna roll around in him.
i aim for the point in a friendship when people begin to think you’re dating
im gonna marry thor
but theyre making thor a woman now
im gonna marry thor
Derek and Uncle Peter
So, the Roomie and I have a pseudo-tradition of cigar and fire nights, every Sunday that we can get around to doing it. It’s extremely relaxing to me, and I hope it is for him as well, which is why when I let the dogs out earlier, and noticed that the lighter we’ve been using must’ve been left out for the past, oh, week or so (and in the rain :P), that it’d be a pretty smart idea to go get either a new lighter, or a backup one. Whichever. So long as fire was able to be produced.
I had to go get cat food for the beasties anyhoo, and the cigar shop we go to is just up the street, so hey. Two birds, one stone, right?
Beast food acquired and dumped off in my car, i head over to the shop. The clerk, not the “regular” guy that the Roomie and i work with, is standing outside, in front of the shop door, on his cell phone. He nods at me as i come towards him, then has a look of shock when i go to walk around him, to get into the store. He doesn’t even bother to end his call when i approach him to ask a question, and is instead looking at me somewhat quizzically.
"I need a lighter," says me.
He abruptly stops his conversation, looks at me head to toe, and replies “We don’t sell those cheapy ones here.” And then he curls his lip, in this obnoxious, patronizing facsimile of a smile.
Now, mind you, i know this place doesn’t probably get a lot of clientele of the female persuasion. It’s a freaking cigar shop, i get it. HOWEVER. It’s in East Atlanta, and while i am female, i am also wearing motorcycle jeans, a wife-beater tank, and i have a massive freaking back tattoo that’s still Saran-Wrapped. I don’t exactly stand out, and in fact, appearance wise, i’m probably one of the more tame individuals around.
But i still got a sneer.
Anyone who knows me, can probably gauge what my reaction to this was like.
I reply, coldly, and with a death glare, “I know. That’s why I came here.”
Vitriol must’ve been dripping off those words, because Dude dropped his phone, actually dropped it. Then (after picking it back up, and resuming his conversation, albeit with a bit of stuttering), gets me a cigar torch, fills it, and bumblingly hands it over to me. And then stares at me wide eyed as i flick it open and ignite it.
"I also need a humidor pack," I state as i calmly click the lid shut, and place the lighter on the counter.
The guy is still dumbfounded at this point, even more so when i log into their frequent buyer app, but manages to fish me out a pack. Meekly, he inquires, “Is that all?”
"For now," I reply. Swipe of a card, and i leave.
But i’m still stewing. Shit like that just intensely aggravates me. I’m living in one of the more liberal cities i’ve ever been to, in one of the more liberal areas, and yet, this mindset still persists. I face it on an almost daily basis, being a woman that draws comic books, especially the comics that i DO draw, which are generally darker and more violent, or very sexy.
Just because i have tits doesn’t mean that i can’t participate in certain activities, or mean that i’m any less capable of doing something that i want to do. Oh, what’s that? I don’t fit into your nicely organized box of what a woman can, can’t, should, and should not do?
Too fucking bad. FFS, people, seriously. Grow the fuck up.
There’s a bit of a surface issue here too, with coming to terms that i basically allowed myself to be a stepford wife for years, trying to fit INTO that perfect little mold. Did the blonde hair, the makeup, the nails, etc. Did the housework, cooking, you know the drill. It didn’t work, it never will, not with someone of my temperament and personality.
I used to tell myself that one day, i’ll get over this. That it won’t bother me as much, being instantly constrained into a an idea. But y’know what, those days are past, and i’m not going to accept something that’s just fundamentally ridiculous, and become complacent with it. It’s prejudice, stereotyping, all that. It’s judging a book by it’s cover.
And it’s wrong.
"Little Girls Are Better At Designing Superheroes Than You" is a small project where I draw superheroes based on the costumes of young girls.
This original submission is The Curly Girlie!
From the mother: “Her superhero is named The Curly Girlie. She uses her long curly hair to lasso the bad guys, and has laser vision.”
I thought we weren’t supposed to be like Derek? Right?
Instead everyone is tripping over themselves in the rush to express their love for him (and believe me, I’m at the front of that line) and Stiles- Stiles is making us uncomfortable.
This is either mind-numbingly brilliant writing, or it’s the worst the show has ever had. I’m hoping for brilliant. I’m hoping the show is making a statement about something. But it’s really not clear yet.
I keep watching and I am struggling with whether or not I think Stiles is actually OOC or if this is just the Stiles we love still processing a lot of trauma and trying to process it all alone. It doesn’t seem like he’s getting any professional help and it seems like everyone he usually relies on is just ignoring that it ever happened while it slowly eats away at him. He’s just as sarcastic as always, but he seems a lot more cruel and callous this season, and I can’t help but think that’s something that has always been a part of him. It’s been hinted at repeatedly throughout the series, he’s just been really good at hiding it up until now. Maybe that’s what’s different, he doesn’t care to hide it anymore because everyone has already seen him at his worst even if he wasn’t technically the one behind the wheel for that whole misadventure. As for his dialogue to Malia about remembering everything he did as the Nogitsune, about liking the power and the feeling of invincibility, I can’t help but think that’s why Stiles refused the bite. I think he recognizes there is something dark and a little cruel about himself that’s lingering under the surface just waiting to get out, and he knows the bite would have set that lose. That may be why Peter wanted to bite him. This may be why he was more receptive to being possessed in the first place. This of course is happening on top of whatever it is Malia might be doing to him.
I do feel there are two different things going on with Stiles.
There’s the weird two faces thing he has, that when he’s away from Malia, he likes her a whole lot less than when he’s with her. And when he’s with her, he gets that ‘blank’ affect to his face, and he ignores questions he otherwise wouldn’t.
But that’s way different from the Stiles he’s being awkward and weird around his friends, especially Scott. That’s another thing altogether, and that I believe is totally the after effect of the Nogi.
And finally, I think you are absolutely right on this being why he refused the bite. This was a very intelligent boy who lost his mother at a painfully young age. He’s been subject to emotions- Rage, Hurt, loss, despair- that people much older than him have never even imagined.
Personal story. I was 38 went my mom died. She had been ill for over a decade, so it was a long time coming, and I’m a successful adult with a family and a supportive peer group, and literally, as good a situation as you could hope for, for such a thing. And I was SHOCKED at how much it hurt. How much I grieved, how angry and hurt I was.
I can not even begin to comprehend how something like that would effect a beautiful, brilliant, lonely boy like Stiles. But I do know that Stiles knew the darkness that lived inside him, long before he met the Nogisune.
The thing with tonight’s episode was that, Stiles mental health wasn’t just subtext anymore. It wasn’t blatantly stated that he’s not okay, but the things he was saying and the way he was saying them were really indicative. And the thing with Malia is quite peculiar. I think he considers helping Malia as a sort of penance. He’s trying to do something good. He gets that blank face when he’s around her, but he also seem calmer and more relaxed when he’s alone with her than at any other time. That might be because she’s draining his energy, but I think it could also have something to do with the fact that he feels like she’s the only person not silently judging him. I think he’s trying to connect with her on the basis of, “I killed a bunch of people with out of control supernatural abilities just like you, lets try to get over it together.” Stiles is vulnerable right now, leaving him open to being manipulated, especially when no one else is paying attention to the massive issues he’s struggling with.
As for the grief he’s dealing with, when I was the age Stiles was when he lost his mom, I lost 2 grandparent less than a year apart. To say I was devastated would be an understatement. I can’t imagine what it would be like if it were my mom.
- I want this story to be written
- I don’t want this story to be written by anyone but me
- I don’t want to write this story